May 31, 2013 Thirteen Things

1. Ma warns me about danger of solar flares today. http://www.tesis.lebedev.ru/en/sun_flares.html
2. Big asteroid like the one that killed the dinosaurs is passing very close to Earth in a couple hours, but not nearly as close as the one in February.
3. This week, I discovered a remarkable bald spot hiding in the back of my head. Alopecia Areata (the doctor says) — autoimmune disorder. I am duly inspired.
4. Last week my bulging C5 disk righted itself in my sleep. I thank God. Neck still a little sore. I am duly inspired.
5.  Recently, I find myself appreciating dualities more than I ever thought I would.
6. I’ve even imagined I have a long, lost twin.
7. My Love is beautiful.
8. I want the world to know that I do not spend so much time lying around merely because I’m lazy——–and, as it happens, not because of my beautiful love, either. It’s Myasthenia Gravis—–as far as I’ve ever known, and that fact, local friends and neighbors, becomes more sobering as I get older.
9. I have not watched my TV  in about five months.
10. I have the smartest dog in the world. He is miraculous. I see flea /insect problems ahead from the warm winter. My lawn mower is broken.
11. The number “11” doesn’t get the recognition it deserves. It’s lovely, symmetrical, prime; and, I don’t know what else it is just as a number, but I like it because it proves we can reach beyond our two hands.  Here’s Good Eleven, from School House Rock. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYUoYJeANq4
12. I have my work cut out for me around here. Need to get on it. Hopefully, if I’m successful at it, my readers will know because I will also have the energy to make little blog posts when I take breaks. The work I speak of will occupy me for the next seven days.
13. I used to feel I was on a mission from God, now I sorta feel I’ve been abducted by aliens. Just kidding. Styx, “Come Sail Away” live. Please enjoy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAAHuZ3zhjo

Two Poems I’m Proud Of and I Wrote

Dear Followers/diary,

I was back together with my boyfriend for a while.  Things were rocky, but I loved him very much. For almost two months, we didn’t see each other, but I still believed our love was true. I can’t bear to give details, and I apologize if this is boring. This past week, I felt my hope for a future with him was becoming much more happy and proving true– until this afternoon, when I discovered he had a profile on Match.com, and was online the very moment I found it.

Now what I feel more than anything else, is that I probably do not like the person he actually is. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude about this emotion. It feels very complicated. He is extremely charming. I think he is the first man I’ve ever known to whom I might willingly entirely submit. I don’t think I could do “tough love” with him if his vices ever called for it–for he is simply too adorable.

So, I’m thinking I should be grateful to God if this relationship can end this way.

Oh, by the way, I didn’t discover his single’s account while hunting for singles myself. I just happened over to his facebook profile for the first time in a while and saw that he had “liked” Matchdotcom. So I bit. I did a bogus profile for the privilege of doing a free search. (I thought y’all might be curious about that.)

Now that I’ve told you all more or less what’s been going on in my meager soul all these weeks, I want to share something with you, two things actually. These are two poems I wrote for him, one yesterday and one the day before. I do believe that you people will be able to appreciate my efforts much more than he ever would. As always, please any strangers out there, please don’t steal my work. I am actually proud of it. In a way, it’s all I have to show for my own life.

The first poem had not been titled yet, but I like titles. So here’s the poem and the first publication of its title below:

Come, My Darling. Let me Gently Explain,

(by Vicki Jones)

Love floats like heart-shaped swans

Wandering across dappled years

Enclosed by limitless pleasured reflections

Eyes to eyes, with eyes closed

It is why the pond glows at sunset

Others can learn from its silhouette

The true form of love has two sides

Two, my darling, only two.

He really liked that one. He looked at my eyes when he asked me if I “really” wrote it. Anyway, and here’s the other one… originally titled “To My Soulmate”, but, now simply “Soul Mate” as follows:

Soul Mate

(By: Vicki Jones)

You

called me Your Playmate.

I pooched out my cheeks

and puffed like a hussy wolf–

or a too proud Playboy Bunny.

Then,

after a miserable

long-time of time-out,

I died and came back

crawling the world as a bug,

with a tantalizing,  bitter shell.

Your

teasing tickling

chas-ing and hid-ing

undying essence…

…Your

cheating, incorrigible truth…

…wriggled through

that coarse barrier

which surrounds what is me

and imbedded

in my egg of immortality.

Is

grows strong

as it feeds

on Material Me.

I  giggle

and call you my playmate.

____________________________________________________That’s all of the poem I just want to mention that I made a couple of minor changes as I was transcribing it just now. …. Ah paranoia, will you never desert me.

I love you, My WordPress Friends.

May 1, 2013 Journal and Love to my Followers

Much of the anxiety about those I love has resolved itself by now. I’m very thankful that no one I most identify with has died– although they came close to dying.

I continue another day’s survival thanks to those who identify with me. While giving thanks, I would be remiss not to include the Founders and Guardians of the U.S. Democracy.

May 1st is a comfort. A quiet weed-eater (two houses down) and my personal caged-animal tossing his toy within his confines make just enough noise to help me mark my place in this world. Open windows let clean, slightly moist pre-downpour air circulate around me. I can discern that the dog visited the cess-stream behind my house, but his mustiness isn’t overwhelming.

Since this is very peaceful for me, but boring to y’all,  I’ll leave it at that. .  .Ps. I still love you all very much!