Wondered what I missed, while life and death poured down upon me– the face of God had seemed to promise no time to wonder. For the first time in so long, all my biological survival needs were met, and I had a purpose; I was like a fetus, floating in nourishment, but having also awareness. My home became the womb. My house guest and I were the center of our universe. My purpose as both mother and twin to each of us was to feed and develop him and me.
He can be a difficult person–can’t we all.
He gets paranoid about my phone calls.
He has recent, severe brain damage. I have to be symbiotic.
I don’t mind the symbiosis, but if he insists on intentionally obstructing me more and more as his condition improves, as he always has, I will ultimately feel defeated again–and this will have proved to be not a last chance for him, but instead, just another lesson for me in — what, I don’t know.
The missing piece– I realized when I was wondering this morning– is writing in this blog.
Purgatory is Perfection.
Forever-harking, Distant train,
I may have a minute
or two or, really, maybe not.
I wish this black type could relate to you my exhaustion and fulfillment, as well as my senses of relief and courage in the face of many uncertainties I now face as a result of my reunion with the-dear-the-dreaded monster-prince of my life’s story. I’m propped up on pillows, quiet repose, just long enough not to collapse later on this day, before circadian rhythms shush “our” crazily mending minds for a few hours.
My little anubian pup, meanwhile, is patiently awaiting my demise–but not so patiently, his walk, which is not going to happen today, yet again. At least, I now have a truly worthy excuse. I hope it goes well for me when comes time to settle with the neighbors.
Can you all tell my tone is different? Oddly enough, I may be happy. Being happy is really not having time to think about it, isn’t it! Now they tell me …
Strange just now to think of the movies (DVD’s) that are in my house, just now, while also giving due consideration to how my life has changed so significantly in the last one week and one day.
I own one movie–Fido. Of course. So that one. It’s playing now, the second or third time it’s played the past couple days. Besides that one, Three Netflix movies have been stowing away within my customary jumble of disorganization for maybe as long as a year now, without my watching them or taking the trouble to send them back–even though, I really needed to cancel the DVD portion of my membership, due to dire finances, not to mention lack of interest in committing to paying attention to something simply for having requested it by mail.
But I don’t want this post to be about those movies.
And I don’t have much time now to write, if any time at all, unless I get better at what I’ve been doing the past few days.
Sorry, to be so mysterious, ALWAYS.
Miracles are good. So, my sweet followers and finders, please be happy for me. On a side note, my health is improving–no doubt as an added benefit of the blessing in my life.
This is all I have time to say at present. I’ll write more as soon as I can, the future being more wide open than I previously imagined. It’s now suppertime for the loved one I thought I would never see again–and me.
In days to come, watch for additional stories about Lester. I’m pleased to report that he may continue to inspire my life for some time to come.
I thought I had successfully posted this yesterday. I know it’s just a picture of a dog, but this is the something special I intended to post yesterday.
Haven’t read the other 681 words just yet. Looking forward to it. Love the cartoon and TED too.
This is a satisfying counterpoint to the haiku I just reblogged. Thank you, Andy.