Tag Archives: isolation

Your stories of Loss in 2013

  • I would like to know of other people who witnessed people they cared about lose everything they had this year, and/ or killed themselves.
  • I wouldn’t need to know any details about the situations or the emotions associated with these losses, although all comments would be welcomed. 
  • I’m trying in my own life to keep a positive outlook, while accepting reality so I can continue to adapt to it. I often fail to do so. And the flow of consequences for failure can seem unforgiving at times. I’m struggling within trials which are proving to me that one must cling to life or lose it. 
  • Because even though I believe we are all connected (like an ant hill,) our human brains confuse as much as they instruct. As soon as we think someone will save us when we most need it, we’re apt to find ourselves misguided. Therefore, we must always cling to survival, be beggars if necessary, as well as choosers, and not allow ourselves to believe our minds cannot devise a backup plan.
  • This year, I witnessed one friend lose everything, but live. In some ways, he’s doing ok now. He has a roof over his head, but he doesn’t understand what happened to him. He remembers his home, but not how or why he lost it; in fact, I don’t think he yet understands that he did lose it.
  • This year, I also witnessed one friend who had good health and a wealth of talent kill himself. I have promised to write more about this person. I’m really still in the denial phase about his death, but part of that denial seems to be because he is so alive in my heart. I am willing to stay in denial forever. Past tense does not honor him enough.
  • I’m going to put plenty of tags on this post to encourage feedback.
  • Please leave your stories of the losses you have witnessed, or experienced yourself if that is the case. You do not have to specify that something was your own loss instead of a friend’s. 
  • Many people who have access to internet are better off than most people. I would also like to know if the people who suffered loss of life or all possessions had internet access.
  • I ask that the stories be things that have culminated during this year 2013.
Advertisements

Don’t ask why, ask why not…loneliness, that is

This post will likely slip through the cracks of blog-iety, the same way too many lost souls also slip away. By the way, my heart grieved horribly for the loss of Aaron Swartz who was peculiar in that he died (I believe) a martyr. Very peculiar, especially in the USA. This post is dedicated to all the beautiful people I love, but can’t touch.  Simon and Garfunkel, “A Most Peculiar Man”

To everything under the sun, there is a season…I imagine a seed aches during winter…cries out to be eaten by anything that already belongs. This next link is to a Donovan rendition of a poem by WB Yeats, “Song of the Wandering Aengus.” According to Wikipoedia, Aengus was probably an Old Irish god of love, youth, and inspiration. I’ll post the poem beneath the link.

I WENT out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head,
And cut and peeled a hazel wand,
And hooked a berry to a thread;
And when white moths were on the wing,          5
And moth-like stars were flickering out,
I dropped the berry in a stream
And caught a little silver trout.
When I had laid it on the floor
I went to blow the fire a-flame,   10
But something rustled on the floor,
And someone called me by my name:
It had become a glimmering girl
With apple blossom in her hair
Who called me by my name and ran   15
And faded through the brightening air.
Though I am old with wandering
Through hollow lands and hilly lands,
I will find out where she has gone,
And kiss her lips and take her hands;   20
And walk among long dappled grass,
And pluck till time and times are done,
The silver apples of the moon,
The golden apples of the sun.

May words have life where the speaker has none

Moments of empty time,

blood clot clusters on the vine,

rheumatism paints the knee.

Hungry, the tired, isolated

masses, remaining from hopeless climes–

Invasive species.

Radar finds our broken links.

Ghastly! Wasting 

skeleton chains, future legality legacies

The word society has no meaning

when the speaker has none. 

Our grandchildren answer the phones

that dropped in our commodes.

 

a new calendar

The start of January would be meaningless to me as it has been for years, except that I have horrible emotional patterns to change, and for some reason New Years Eve impacted my psyche as the point of do or die. I went to bed Monday night before 8:00 to focus all my strength on shutting out the pain of helplessness caused by situations I had finally realized left me no choices, but run away.

The year, thus far, is an exercise in controlled breathing and what amounts to meditation. Even though I feel the vibrations of adrenalin, I don’t want to move. Every effort has to remain mental just now. This reminds me of when I finally managed to quit smoking the last time. I stayed in bed for days, maybe weeks, playing sudoku and napping.

I should pick back up with sudoku. Whatever I manage to do in this cause, I will try to record here in my blog. Anyone who reads this, please think a kind thought of me.