Incoherent, but Necessary. Expect no Edits, no Updates.

Mad. paranoid. implicated. innocent.

Forehead and chest feel the pressure–

just as I was getting ready to deal with student loans

and other ever-present reminders that life is borrowed.

How dare anyone consider me, or another to be less than?

How dare game players pick humans for easy targets?

What a  pity they are caught up in their game.

I need to pity them and not myself.


I don’t know how I’m going to get my mind back to business.

I have to eat. I was so optimistic till about an hour ago.

All I want is the strength and the feeling of good health back that I felt for little more than a day.

How much honor does a woman deserve? Honor is in the eye of the beholder, isn’t it.

“We’ll see how it goes,” he says. I took it as a veiled insult.

I love him. Wanna do right. He has plenty of great things going for him. I do not ask much.

Well, no progress made, and empty belly–might as well stand up.



5 responses to “Incoherent, but Necessary. Expect no Edits, no Updates.

  1. you write with such feeling – i play for your healing, if not in your body, then in your heart.

  2. I didn’t stand up. Still sitting here stunned, as though I could have expected more consideration—–of my words, or my feelings. I have a fairly high tolerance for callous behavior, because I appreciate people who are able to show grace when I fail gentility.

    For hours now it seems, I’ve searched facebook and google images for something I wish I had a second chance to post somewhere–an image of a lovely horse running through a snow storm in the mountains, over the image, the printed message, “When a friend would have you compromise your principles, it’s time to find a new friend.” That was the sentiment, if not an exact quote.

    Now I really should get up…eat, etc.

    If you read this, please pray for a very happy ending for all in this situation.
    I’m probably the only person involved who would make such a request, but I must assume we all need it.

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