I gotta tell you. Please pray for me. A friend is coming to check on me in a little bit. I’ve been in a three year relationship that’s killing me. Please no advice. I don’t know how I’m going to get through this one. Even people who feel like dying don’t want to. That’s why I’m going to keep humiliating myself, and begging for your prayer and compassion until I find the courage to stand up for myself. 

Just now, I threw my dog out of the house because he came in stinking of mire. If/when he comes back, there’s no telling what he will have done to himself.

Not much else to say and no adequate “I hate myself” videos on youtube.

Why is it so hard for me to see him as a liar?  Or to admit he doesn’t care about me? 



3 responses to “

  1. Thank you both. You are two exceptionally beautiful spirits, who I am thankful with my soul to have watching over me. Hope that doesn’t sound melodramatic. I know every blogger is thankful for readers…. especially exceptionally beautiful ones.

    Anyway, as for my present misery. Today is day3of, and it ain’t much better. I tell you, the longer I live, the more I come to woefully appreciate certain popular songs written about women who aren’t ashamed of thoughts unbecoming to a lady which visit her mind when tortured by certain behaviors of a man she has loved.

    Let’s say that behavior is dishonesty. I know not every woman sees his lie –without exception– as the secret weapon of a murderous man; there was a time when even I thought a man might think his lie was for the best. Stand-up comedians have gotten great tides of laughter on the subject– but I have come to believe it is–lying–a murder weapon. I’ve learned it the hard way, by forgiving lie after lie of a grown-ass man, long after I was old enough to know better.

    Sure it’s immaturity. And aren’t we so charmed by the child-like ways of our lying-ass lovers!

    Thank you both again for your gentle comments. They must have been inspired by the higher power, because they were sufficient to my need.

  2. I’m sorry you are experiencing this. Keep your chin up.

  3. Hang in there….Love is hell

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