Of Myasthenia Gravis
because I’ve always believed it was just in my head, I write about it now, and I don’t want to ever mention it again—God willing!
To this day, it is hard for me to say that I have it. I often say, “I have a diagnosis of.” I believe that my hang up over MG goes back to my having dealt with it from a very young age (without a diagnosis). As it is, I was diagnosed 30 years ago. It sneaks around the muscles of my body like a mischievous gnome. It makes me weak, and I let it get to me.
I feel better by mentioning it.
But honestly, I see no point in trying to make anyone understand who doesn’t have it (“It” refers to the disease, not the diagnosis. I think it’s considered to be under-diagnosed.)
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll WANT to talk about MG sometime. Maybe, I even NEED to talk about it. But it’s been my experience that people don’t take me seriously. I might come across as insincere or lack some other affect of credibility when speaking to lay people about MG. I probably roll my eyes or show other signs of uneasiness. I really hate using my precious strength to explain to people that I suffer from “grave weakness”. My disdain for the subject probably comes across as apathy or an inappropriate nonchalance to something so influential to my life.
When asked what I do or have been doing, I reply, “nothing.” I look at them, smile, and add something honest and unapologetic, e.g. “It takes all kinds.” I enjoy my time out of the house much better that way.
Between me and you, my sweet readers, I wish I had more assistance with the physical demands of my life. I’m grateful when I do get help, and I don’t much blame people for not being more compassionate.
But, sometimes, even with people who know me well, I find myself praying like Jesus to “forgive them for they know not what they do.” I think maybe I could get more help if I were more credible. It really is a regular source of discouragement for me.
So now you know my chronic (I don’t like to say “major”) health issue. I’m planning on a “major” remission this year!